when one part of your body is swelled up 2-3X the size of its counterpart. Thank goodness for ice and ibuprofen. And its either true grit or idiocy that keeps me working through the pain in the lab today. Damn, its probably the latter.
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I'm a graduate student so that means I live in a shitty area, actually its not that shitty, it just borders on a shitty area. Its synonymous to living in Long Beach and staring across the street to your neighbors that reside in Compton. And those of us who habit these borderlands of pending gentrification usually have a corner store where you can stop and purchase anything you need: gas, condoms, bath salts, you know the basics to have a good time. But that's not half the fun, no my friends, the best thing about the neighborhood corner store are the people that hang around outside.
These are the cast of characters that loiter the corner store by my apartment:
-Bob from the Biggest Loser: except Bob is bald, 30 pounds heavier, and looks like he just came off a savage three day coke binge
-Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus: he's got the mullet and he's trying to serenade the ladies in the parking lot, he's awesome
-Lil Albino Tupac: white kid that typically does not wear a shirt but sports the bandana knotted on the forehead, almost gets hit by cars while trying to "spit game at bitches" and doesn't understand why the ladies won't "let a playa get some conversation." He is a dead ringer for Jamie Kennedy's character in Malibu's Most Wanted.
- Tunisian Jackie Chan: practices Tae Kwon Do moves in the parking lot while emptying the trash cans and sweeping the parking lot. TJC is usually getting yelled at by his boss who speaks some hybrid language that consists of Armenian, Spanish, Pidgin English, and a conglomeration of virtually every language and dialect's profanities.
So when I step out my car and run in to grab a drink, I'm greeted by the pleasant lyrical stylings of Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus, walk past Bob from the Biggest Loser who looks like he is passed out in his car, wait behind Lil Albino Tupac ranting and bitching, and almost get knocked out by Tunisian Jackie Chan as he works on his spinning back kick while smoking a cigarette and holding a broom. Its dangerous but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Except a nicer place to live.
Overheard during job interviews in my lab:
-Lab Member: "Do you have experience in (particular technique)?" Candidate: "No but I enjoy doing (hobby that has nothing to do with business).
-Lab Member: "So what skills from your current position do you think you can bring to our lab and contribute?" Candidate: "Absolutely none!" This may be true if your lab does completely different stuff, but at least come up with something. Damn.
-PI gave job candidate some reprints of important papers from the lab, when asked by a lab member if they would read them, they responded, "If I get job? Maybe." Whaaaaaat? Even if you aren't going to read them, lie to our face and say you will you dummy.
-Candidate: "So you guys don't work that hard right? I don't really like to work that much." Fuck me.
I was talking to a coworker today about the dreaded topic of shopping. She was elaborating to me that she had to take her son shopping for clothes for some event he had and the pushback he was giving on trying on stuff. I remember hating to go shopping with my mom as a kid and having to try on all these damn clothes just because and it took forever and a day.
Now shopping with my dad was awesome. I hold something up and he'd ask, "You like?" And I would give the old man a nod of approval and he would reply, "Good get it and get one in large for me." That would conclude our shopping trip in under 10 minutes including the checkout process and at some point in the future when we went shopping again, you might have laid eyes on my dad and I strolling the mall wearing matching Fila track suits.
If you haven't heard the legendary rant by comedian Bill Burr, you have to. To set the stage for what happened, Burr is the third comedian in a row to be booed by a drunken audience, and Burr seizes the 12 minutes he is allotted on stage to just go off on the city and its residents. Just classic. Videos are separated into parts one and two.
Holy crap, get this book. I'm not a Stephen King fan but I loved this book, even if it was a hell of a read (over 1000 pages on the iPad). Imagine going back in time to the late 50's, what is one pivotal historical event that you could prevent? The assassination of JFK, and this is what our protagonist Jake Epping or as he is known as George Amberson attempts. King creates a vivid story and takes you back into the days of racial tension, the height of the cold war, and the golden age of Americana. I don't care if you have never read King or hate him, get this book its well worth it.
I became an avid reader of Tom Clancy's stuff back in the early days of high school and have followed him ever since. This book is the latest resurgence in the Jack Ryan universe and his first book in this character realm with someone else helping him to write (Clancy is getting up there in years and he does need to make a bit of cash after his divorce). I won't go to much into detail but the book focuses more on Jack Junior and less on the old man (I guess as a way to continue on the series). If you ever got into Clancy its a must read.
Growing up in the deep south, one of the artists that rose to significant fame and fortune in the mid-90s was Sheryl Crow, who was beloved by all the white conservative people. One of their favorite Sheryl Crow songs was "Strong Enough," a ballad supposedly about a woman trying to figure out if a guy was "strong enough" to be her man. Sadly this wasn't the case, one of the Tuesday Music Club friends and songwriter went to a "gay" bar to sit and write out the lyrics. The lyrics for the song were literally transcribed from a conversation he overheard from two gay men struggling with their relationship. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it you crazy conservatives!
So I'm a Mac user as are many of the folks that I work with and as scientists, lets face it, we use the hell out of excel. Well I finally upgraded my personal Mac to Office 2011 and I have to say its pretty sweet and huge upgrade over the 2008 version for Macs. It more resembles the previous and newest version on the PC thanks to them adding Visual Basic which Microsoft fucking skimped on the 2008 Office version. When we were forced to upgrade from 04 to 08 many of us hid from the techies and fought them with tire irons and trash can lids as shields as long as we could to hold off the mandatory upgrade. And similar to the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae, we eventually were overwhelmed by opposing forces before assimilating into the Borg.
So far I'm liking the upgrade.
If you haven't seen the email stream that Sara Ackerman, an NYU student, has been circulating about her professor's assignment on OWS, you've got to see it. Not passing judgment on the girl, but all I can say is wow.