Figure 1: Zombie apocalypse
Whether a zombie apocalypse is scientifically possible or not, it is better to be safe than sorry. Silly? Perhaps... but even the Center for Disease Control (CDC) wants you to think about zombie apocalypse preparedness.
Being prepared for a zombie attack has never been easier. There are zombie-centric groups like the Zombie Research Society and Zombie Combat Club, numerous zombie survival books and online resources, and even a conference (ZomBcon) that features zombie survival programming.
We know how to avoid and kill zombies, keep from becoming a zombie, stockpile for a zombie attack, pick a location for our zombie-free compound and thanks to The Walking Dead, how to chemically camouflage ourselves among zombies.
The zombies of The Walking Dead pick-out their living animal snacks primarily by smell. They've drawn to noise and use their sight, but these zombies know they've found dinner through smell. As The Walking Dead's Andrea said, "They smell dead, we don’t. That's pretty distinct.” That observation became a plan and The Walking Dead's Grimes got the group of the living chemical camouflage by, ummm... direct harvesting (this episode is called "Guts" for a reason).
Figure 2: Eau de Death factory
After watching this episode, my first thought was, "There has to be a better way." The Walking Dead method (TWDM) for producing said chemical camouflage leaves much to be desired. TWDM requires a corpse, puncturing tools, extensive personal protective equipment (PPE) and a strong stomach. In addition, TWDM is ill-suited for mass production, something a zombie pandemic would necessitate. If smelling dead will save lives, we'll need a lot death cologne.
Fortunately, smelling dead doesn't require dealing with the dead. By selecting the right chemicals, along with suitable production methods, large quantities of a Eau de Death could be made.
For that rotting smell without the fuss and muss of TWDM, two classes of organic compounds - amines and sulfhydryls - offer good bad-smelling chemical candidates. Two foul smelling amines, cadaverine and putresine (Figure 3), are good choices as they are produced early in the body's decomposition process. To the amine duo, the stinky sulfhydryl methanethiol (Figure 3) adds a smell of rotten cabbage or eggs.
- Figure 3: possible ingredients of Eau de Death
For large quanities of our rotten trio, biotechnology could be just be just the ticket, with bacteria doing the heavy lifting. The use of the bacterium Escherichia coli (E. coli) to make large amounts of cadaverine and putrescine was presented in a May 2011 article in the journal Applied Microbiology and Biotechnology. E. coli can produce cadaverine from the amino acid L-lysine by having enzymes trim a carboxylic acid group off L-lysine (Figure 4). The same trim job can yield putrescine from L-ornithine (Figure 4), with L-ornithine being the result of a slice-and-dice of the amino acid L-arginine. There is also a second route to get putrescine from L-arginine without the intermediate L-ornithine.
Figure 4: Producing cadaverine and putrescine
Figure 4: E. coli
Our stinky sulfhydryl could also be produced using our bacterial factory workers E. coli (Figure 5), as research published in Plant and Cell Physiology showed. Modifying E. coli to produce a specific enzyme will get us methanethiol from the amino acid L-methionine via a more elaborate route than those that yielded our foul smelling amines.
To get our E. coli staffed Eau de Death factory up and running, we'll need to debug these biotech production routes (see A and B).
As with other perfumes, the Eau de Death recipe must be perfected. Should other stinky chemicals be included? What is the proper ratio of stinky compounds to achieve the right rotting flesh smell? Should we have a celebrity spokesperson?
Our chemical camouflage is off to a good start, but we have a lot of work to do. Now is the time to start! We certainly can't wait until we're in the midst of a zombie outbreak. Anyone who has seen The Walking Dead, or any zombie movie for that matter, knows mid-zombie apocalypse isn't the best time for this type of research and development.
______________
Many thanks to GertyZ, who rightly pointed out during a discussion on this post that any Eau de Death should contain a sulfhydryl.
Figure image attributions: Figures 1-2: clip art from Officer 2010 Figure 5: image from http://bit.ly/qOKEQ2
I love this post.
I'm also thinking of other methods for making sure the Eau De Death WORKS. Like get a bunch of zombies and see if they move more randomly in the presence of people wearing Eau De Death as opposed to people wearing...Eau De Life, showing less attraction to the smell of warm, delicious live braaaaaaaains. And what concentrations are required for effectiveness? Would it even need to be worn BY people, or could we just, say, spray it on the outside of all our buildings and stuff?
As you discuss, extensive product testing must be done. In regards to using the chemical camo on non-humans.... one could image fabricating a zone coverage product like Off! http://bit.ly/nNlbab
You might consider using some of the compounds produced by the carrion flower. This plant attracts its flies by smelling like rotten meat http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrion_flower
Just a few weeks ago I had to chance to experience a corpse flower bloom and that fragrance would do the trick!
Not surprisingly, both putrescine and cadaverine are used when testing the odor fighting abilities of some fabric coatings. I used to work in the same lab as the guys that tested the coatings, and thankfully never fell for the "Hey! smell this and see if it worked"
If the amines are good enough for that kind of training, we are on the right track!
Hahaha, we do a bit of work with putrescine. The stuff kinda stinks up the lab. Fortunately I have almost zero sense of smell. I do feel bad for my grad student doing the project. Maybe he'll feel better if I tell him he'll be safe during the Zombie apocalypse.
[...] Chemistry For The Zombie Apocalypse [...]
lol. maybe some Phenethylamine should be added ^_*
[...] in his and hers varieties, as well as the opinions on cocaine and a super awesome post on how to create eu de rotting body to survive the zombie apocalypse (relevant, really, you NEVER [...]
you could also make an Eau De Vai that could be sprayed on zombie hordes to turn them on themselves thinning their numbers rapidly
[...] from Thirty-Seven? This blog will have posts like the those I've written on sux, Death Star and zombie chemistry. Thirty-Seven will be SERIOUS. Sort [...]